Confession

"I hope I could be someone who can make a confession easily."

"To confess what I feel, whatever I want regardless the risk that might follow."

You are in your room, alone at night. You turn off the light so you can clearly see the sky. There, you see a moon is shining brightly, and the stars are twinkling. You look at your reflection on the glass of window in front of you, and think how lonely you are.

Somehow the flashback appear in your mind. The flashback of sweet memories that was happened in your life. And there, you see a face of someone you missed. Someone that isn't in your reach anymore. Someone that you cannot have from now.

In your memories, he stands in front of you and gives his hand to you. The two of you are walking along a path that you familiar with. You have a little chat with him. He laughs and sees you in your eyes. Then, you stop talking and look at him and think, how lucky you are to have a person like him beside you by that moment. 

Suddenly your memories begin to blurry, there is no smile and laugh anymore. You just figure a man beside a beautiful lady dressed up in beautiful gown. Then you realize that you cannot remember her face. She is not you, nor anyone you know. But she looks pretty in her gown, and happy with the man you familiar with stands beside her.

Suddenly your tears drop onto your cheeks, reach your chin, and disappear. And again, another drop of tear is flowing through your cheeks. And you cannot see the moon again clearly. 

In the glimpse of low light of sky, you recall something important has lost from your life. And you travel back to the all moments when you are with him. At those moments, you realize that;

you never hold his hand, 

you never smile beautifully when he praise you,

you never say that you like him, 

you never ask him to stay by your side,

and you never do anything to proof your feeling towards him.

You walk alone in a dark path. At the end of the path you saw a picture of a moon surrounded by twinkling stars, and there also a reflection of someone at the picture. Then you recognize that person as you. 

You are back to reality. The tears flowing path on your cheeks is now dry. Your eyes open widely and you start to say something in the silence of the night.

"I never confessed anything. That's why he left me" 

Lies

She doesn't able to count how much lies she have done so far. And she doesn't have any regrets towards what she has done to everyone she lied at. She is so cruel, don't you think? No. She is just so pitiful.

Everyone thinks that lie is not a good behavior of human. When you are lying, you tell a wrong story to someone. What is the purpose of lying? In human heart, there are something that everyone would like to protect from anyone else. To protect something, someone covers it with lie. And when someone starts to lie, she will lie again to cover her lie, and so on till no one know about the truth even herself who lies.

Human with weak heart have greatest courage to lie. Human who is weak enough to be honest to11 others will do some great jobs in covering their weakness. Taste of telling lies is bad, after telling some lies someone cannot stay calm, she cannot stay still, she wants to tell more lies. But, because she has a human heart she will feel guilty afterwards, this guilty will make her want to disappear.

When a human who frequently tells lie, to be honest is really hard. Honesty is a taboo thing, honesty is unnecessary. Because if you can tell lies, why bother to tell the truth? This is the opposite of normal human conscience, right?

Ask to yourself, do you have something you cannot tell? What did you do about it? Keep silent. But then, if someone asks you about it? What will you do? Remain silent? Say that you do not know? Do you dare to tell the truth, even though someone might think you are not a good person because of the truth?

Truth is better than LIES.

But lie is an addictive, that's why people who tell lies and succeeded to make everyone believe, will try to tell a lie again.  

Equality

Just like what the picture below tells, equality is the main idea of friendships. Unlike love relationship, the friendship lies upon an equality not extremes and opposites. And loving your friend makes someone somewhat feels the vague between love relationship and pure friendship. Does love change our true intention? 

With what you called as love, a pure intention of being friend with someone will change. You might change your behavior when you are with him. You will be more shy than before, you will think twice before send him a message, even you will secretly stalk him in order to know more about him. You will find yourself really desperate to gain his attention, so sometimes you do a crazy and irresponsible thing to catch his attention.

When everything you do in order to catch his attention is a success, you will do more. You will grow really depend on him. Slow but sure, you will become so possessive toward him. As the result, you hate all the girls that might be attracted to him or he might be attracted to. You will intensely bother him with absurd thing, and you will check whether he thinks to have a girlfriend or not. 

This is how the friendship was spoiled by love. As no one wants to get hurt, you will come to reality that between you and your friend, there might be no space for romance, and you do not want to try to confess your feeling. Because you think that romance or confession will drag him apart from you and you don't want to lose him. So in a misery, you will let him go, you will stop to think about growing a romance between you and your friend. You surrender, you will try to feel enough with what you have, a friendship. Nothing more than just a friendship. Otherwise, you think you might lose him.

Like

Do you like this ice cream?
Do you ever like someone?
I like you, that's it, no big deal.

These three "like" terms can be easily found in our daily conversation, right? But look back to those three "like" words, do they have the same meaning? do they have the same pressing point that highlights your true feeling?

The first "like" means someone just asking you if the taste of the ice cream that you eat is exactly the same with what you want to taste. In simple, they are asking whether the taste of the ice cream is good or horrible.

The second "like" means someone just curious if you attracted to someone of not. This doesn't mean that he/she asks about someone you love. No. They just simply ask about who's on your mind, out of curious or other serious reason.

The third "like" means someone don't want to make you feel bad. Whether if you said you like her and she's not really into you, or she's just to shy to express her true feeling appropriately.

Judgement. Every human is gifted with an ability to regulate judgement. Judgement it self can be defined in 2 ways, positive and negative judgements. 2 factors of so many factor that might influence this judgement is personal beliefs and personal preference.

"Someone only want to trust something they want to trust"
This is a common way of thinking. People put their egoism first before other reasons.

Perfect

Is "perfect" only a word which its definition you can simply find inside a dictionary?

As I have been living for at least 20s years, perfect is something no one can achieve. When perfect doesnt comes to be a simple word which its opposite is imperfect or defect, the meaning of perfect cannot be easily implied to us, a human being. Only God, the only perfection.

The terms of perfect have been used in many contexts. Some of them make the "perfect" as word to define "completeness" or "repaired broken system". These definitions are too weak and lacking. People can easily say that they have been completed their life by achieving their goals, but no one can say that they are already perfect, right? A plumber can fix the piping system, but he cannot say that the piping is perfect afterward.

These days, I heard something related to the reason of people using a "perfection" as an excuse for their egoism in order to fulfilling their desire. "Marriage is perfecting you".

Mostly, fulfilling of desire gives someone a strength to do whatever to satisfy their will. Sometimes that person will be so energetic, passionate, brilliant. But sometimes that person just like a silly person, tactless, or even stupid. Fulfilling of desire gives someone a black glasses with a tinny hole on the center of the glass. Everything looks black beside their target. That's why, person in great desire almost blind with unwanted possibility.